plumerri: (Default)
Hello there! I'm Li, 20, but I'm totally mostly harmless. I'm mostly a geek, sometimes trying way too hard to be a hipster (and that is why I would be one). I slurp up pop culture and technology news and sometimes try to convert people to like Macs. I love Starbucks, but not for their coffee which has turned into this bland crap. I love to drink tea. I talk about most of the things that interest me here, and also school.

Friending policy? What friending policy? I'll add anyone who comments on this post, no questions asked. :) Come on, I don't bite. Also, every day is de-friending amnesty day. If you feel that you and I no longer click anymore, feel free to de-friend as always. :)

Spoiler policy: I post explicit spoilers under a cut. Vague spoilers are vague, so they go above a cut.

Complete fandom list:
AI S8 RPF, Angel, Bandom, Band of Brothers, Battlestar Galatica, Bones, The Big Bang Theory, Castle, Community, Doctor Who, Entourage, Figure Skating RPF, Fringe, Game of Thrones, Generation Kill, Glee, Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy, Happy Endings, Harry Potter, Lie to Me, Modern Family, Mythbusters, Pretty Little Liars, Queer as Folk (US), Raising Hope, Shameless (US), Sherlock (BBC), The Killing, The Walking Dead, Torchwood, True Blood, White Collar, Ugly Betty, Veronica Mars .... updated 26/12/11 Basically I don't update this list anymore haha.
Movies (2010/2011): Captain America, The Avengers, Inception, The Social Network, The King's Speech, Scott Pilgrim, most chick flicks.

Resources I use )
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I see that most of you guys are venturing onto DW so here's me chipping in too! I'm plumerri here, there, mostly everywhere. :)
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I want to talk about my anxiety disorder today. It's a disorder because I'm sure normal people (by normal, I mean people who don't suffer from this disorder) don't suffer from it. Oh look what just happen there, I made a circular argument. Anyway. This post might be triggering, I'm not very sure. I'm still making discovery about my illness and trying to treat it.

This post partially sprung from the thing that happened during my first Simpang trip. Viv's friend came, and one of them mentioned that she takes the same meds as me but only when she's breathless. It's xanax, and I take them every night because I can't sleep. (More symptoms here) The really scary thing about panic/anxiety is that you really have a fear that something will go wrong -- and it's not just a fear that you can talk yourself into making it go away. It's the kind of fear that will make you stay up the whole night because you just can't bear to sleep because you're afraid that if you sleep, then your biggest fear will come true. I can only sleep if I let it go (meaning I try to forget about it for a while, and then hoping that I sleep within that short while) or I tell myself to accept my biggest fear.

It's hard. And it's trying. But the medications keep me sane and make me feel that I'm in control of my life. Or least certain aspect of my life.

You tend to do repetitive things because you do not have to worry about their outcome: they will always be the same. That can calm you down a lot. You keep a list of things that trigger you, but even though you know that they are triggering, you still think about it. It's like the pink elephant. Don't think of a pink elephant. You just can't. You tell yourself to keep calm, and then carry on, and let everything just happen naturally but you can't bear to lose control. It's hard to lose control, because you feel that everything will just spiral down and you might not gain control and you might just regret.

The numbing feeling you get in your limbs is reassuring sometimes, because at least you know that it's your brain fucking you up and not some other parts of your body. We need all the reassurances we can get. And sometimes, it's not just enough to say to yourself, "Keep calm and carry on". Because how can we carry on if we can't keep calm?

Some links: NIMH on anxiety
Stress and Anxiety on NYT
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Was just calculating my expenses these few days and I like WHAT THE FUCK DID I SPEND ON then I realized I made two trips into JB within like two weeks or something like that. Let's see if I have pictures to upload. (Okay I did)

Went to Malaysia twice and then did some shopping. Most of my loots are in the laundry now so I'll show you guys another day, but here's how the first time went:

We had Old Town for breakfast, didn't take any photos because it was just plain toast and eggs. We had Nandos for lunch:

The lemon sprite drink that the table next to us complained so much. And they were also from NTU! *facepalm*

The potato wedges and the Caesar salad. (sidenote, I've tried both salads and I hate both salads)

Some of the sidelines. Note: DO NOT ORDER the grilled veggies or the chips. Boring sides. The mediterranean rice is not bad, imo.

I'm not for chilli or anything hot or spicy so here's my lemon & herb chicken. Not bad.

This was at the restaurant... I thought it was quite interesting?

Then went out with the #tvwhores because Shameen was back from Australia... Was supposed to eat at Victory near Arab Street but in the end only had Zam Zam. I had... crap, can't remember what it's called but here's how it looked like:

It was not bad, but the service sucked so much. They didn't have anything goreng or lime or roti prata and we were pretty pissed off by the service crews. The last straw came with their "receipt/invoice":


Then I went back to JB, this time to Bukit Indah Aeon Jusco whatever the shopping mall is called. I tell you, I LOVE Malaysian shopping malls. EVERYTHING IS SO CHEAP AND PRETTY AND THE EXCHANGE RATE IS AWESOME. I bought Steve Jobs biography for less than SGD30? Last I checked, Harris was selling it at SGD49 so WIN!

Bought three t-shirts, a plaid shirt, a dress, a wallet, a polo shirt and a pair of shorts. \o/ Didn't spend more than SGD100, that's for sure. (Okay, granted my cousin bought me that dress.)

We passed by this restaurant and I thought of my Boston boy! Haha. The nice service crew was walking away to let me take a nicer photo but you guys get a blur photo instead.

It's kinda like Xin Wang, if I'm not wrong. There was a very HK-ese name but this was what was in my brain.

Then we went to a store called Effu. I'm not fucking kidding. Should have taken photo of the store name. And here's a sample of what they sell:


After that we kinda walked around the mall, but not yet stepping into the FOS and Padini stores because they are like treasure troves. Oh, back to Effu. It's like... the This Fashion version of Forever 21. NOT LYING.

Anyway. Back to my shopping. Seriously I have not walked SO MUCH before in my life just to shop (I don't really shop for clothes, you know), and then I really wanted to take a break so we went to:

CHILDHOOD HAUNT! Okay, I used to always go to the one near my KL house so it's really nice to see this again. EXCEPT. The whole place is empty except for us so I was like, eh... I'd rather have the Starbucks but I really wanted to drink root beer float.

Ordered this:

The root beer float was delicious~ Oh man, it's not just that you go to NTUC and buy the rootbeer, then get vanilla ice cream. IT'S DIFFERENT OKAY. But the waffle was really disappointed, and if Leslie Knope was eating this I don't think she would approve. Not. She totally would not have approved. It was like... crunchy? Like love letters? Omg. I'm never getting it. But the good thing about this tea break was that it cost less than 5SGD bless the exchange rate. I got an Auntie Anne's pretzel at MYR3.40 as well... aka much cheaper than Singapore OH MY GOD WHY AM I LIVING HERE. Sidenote, we saw A LOT OF SINGAPOREAN CARS. jsyk. Not idea why would you be interested but yeah.

After we rested, we went to dig for bargains. Literally dig. They have like bins? of clothes that are marked 70% off and they have it in different sizes and colours so to get the one you really want, you have to dig the bottom of the pile and then basically rummage through the whole bin. we are a disgrace, i tell you.

Yeah, we did this.

Also, plaid shirts were in fashion here for some reason. THERE WERE SO MANY:

They were 2 for MYR79.90... So bless the exchange rate gods they were like less than SGD40 for 2?

Had dinner at the zhi char stall near the shopping mall.

Cheap good zhi char food, hor fun that smelled and tasted really good, then the Hokkien mee that you can't really find in Singapore, and the ribs that actually tasted more like char siew. We had these three dishes, plus a stir-fried baby kailan and three glasses of chrysanthemum tea and it ONLY cost us MYR39. HELLO. YOU CAN'T GET THIS KIND OF PRICES ANYWHERE IN SINGAPORE ANYMORE. It would have cost at least SGD40, I believe.

Then we rushed off to take the bus home.

Went to Simpang Bedok the next day! OMG THIS PLACE IS AMAZING. I don't have photos of anything except for this:

AND I TELL YOU. Best drink I had. Sirup limau, it's called. IDK WHAT THEY HAVE IN THE WEST, but this was so good. Shared hokkien mee (the SG style) and roti john and avocado milkshake with Van, om nom nom! Then, after this, went over to the opposite side of the road and I ordered egg prata + teh. OMGGGGGG the prata was soooooo good. Because on Sunday when we went back to that place, they didn't have such good prata. When I said that place I meant Spize. Yeah, I went back to Simpang on Sunday after Shameen's Raya party because... JUST BECAUSE. Speaking of Meen's Raya party = so good. At first i was apprehensive of the food that I can eat because I can't take spicy food and the Malay stall near my house always cheat my feelings regarding the amount of chilli they put into my mee siam, but surprisingly EVERYTHING WAS SO GOOD! Especially the satay goreng and beef rendang. Had lontong for the first time in my life, tasted sooooooo good. Omg I sound really greedy but that's the truth! EVERYTHING! JUST! TASTED! SO! GOOD! And met a couple of new people, LAUGHED A LOT thanks to Adrienne and met Ariel, she's so adorbz and she's studying genetics so that puts her very highly on my list of favourite people haha.

To end of this incoherent post, here's my favourite person:

La grandmére!



Good night <3
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second week of the holiday! My laptop screen is now split into this window (for my gchat) and for watching Once Upon A Time. It's quirky and charming (haha like Prince Charming) and the characters are really good (very fleshed out). The plot is good as well. And Prince Charming is really cute. AHHHHHH. Motivation to watch a show is always the leads, I tell you. Doesn't matter who they are in the show, as long as they are in the show. THEIR FACES. ALL MY CREYS.

Been watching a lot of Ellen videos with Amy in it. OMG THAT'S LIKE THE BEST JOB EVER. I think I was linked to a video of her in a haunted house last year? AND I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING AT THIS YEAR'S VIDEO. This girl is just so funny and fun, just like Penny from Happy Endings!

Ah this post has been in my draft for like two days already. I didn't even shut down my computer for like two days because of this post. I THINK I SHOULD FINISH THIS POST. But I don't really know what to say. Okay, let's talk about my holidays.

1) Holidays have begun.
2) I have been working back at my regular school job.
3) I have gotten three new tuition assignments, on top of my current three (even though one of them is not very confirmed for next year since he went really MIA)
4) I went out on a date! Quite fun, although I was really tired after the end of the date. Le garçon is quite gentlemanly. Haha.
5) The family situation has slightly changed now, with a couple of new people (okay, only like an adult and a child) living with my family now. I think my fam is always so nice and helpful. Now I kinda have a 7 year old boy under my care and I'm trying to force the reading habit into him. Not working. Also. Not going to have kids. NEVER. Not going to do that to my vajayjay and also to my sanity.
6) I'm back on my anti-anxiety meds again. It works sometimes, but it's an on-and-off effect. I need to use my brain to overcome this. Le sigh.
7) Course registration went well, and I gave up my Thursday lab because X didn't manage to get it on time? I'm a nice friend. I'm trying to clear a GER-PE as well as French III so please let me get that!!!!!
8) Going to Malaysia tomorrow! Went there last week and it was quite fun because it's been a long while since I was there. Going there again, going to makan and shop.
9) BAD IDEA to drink tea before I'm going to bed, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.
10) Bye, talking to le garçon now.
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* Exams are finally over! Haven't been this nerve-wrecking before and I really need to work on those anxiety issues... Panic attacks are really real and those moments feel to be the worst moments in my life ever. I have medications to keep them under control right now, but I think it's only temporary. Need to look for natural cures, so I bought lavender from a Chinese herbs store. Hope it works.

* Been slacking around, went to JB, life's great, very boring, etc etc etc can you feel the boredom coming out of my pores? BECAUSE I'M REALLY BORED
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I chanced upon this and I really love it -- wanted to print it out and paste it on my wall or something. You know what. I shall just do it. No point in waiting, right?

This entry has been in in draft for ages and i shall just post it
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Someone, please chain my laptop away from me. kthnxbye.
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bah been having really bad panic attacks really bah let's me see how many bah's I can put in anyway so as I was bah-ing earlier, I had really bad attacks this week that culminated in a sense of impending doom that I didn't LIKE. AT. ALL. hence went to see the doctor and HAI Alprazolam and Fluoxetine (otherwise more commonly known as Xanax and Prozac). Le sigh. Needing meds to keep me sane and calm: what have I turned into? An exam rage monster?

Okay, might have just wanted a reason to link to the trailer.
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This movie is going to be the death of me. I refreshed the STARS planner THOUSAND OF TIMES today because I need to know the exam dates. But I'm an idiot, because I could have just checked the academic calendar to see that the exams end on 4 May 2012 ANDDDDD that's like one day after the movie comes out!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm too obsessed. In related Avengers' news, there's actually a Singapore fanpage for the movie, which I like it, but since I don't spend time on the news feed at all, so I bookmark the RSS feed instead. I think Marvel is realllly stepping up the publicity for this movie. WORLDWIDE LEH.

This person on tumblr live-blogged his 572 listens of Someone Like You. ngl, I totally did that as well. except it's for Set Fire to the Rain. SERIOUSLY. Step 一个 emo only, I know.

But there's a side to you
That I never knew, never knew
All the things you'd say
They were never true, never true
And the games you'd play
You would always win, always win

LOOK AT THE LYRICS! Tell me how not to be emo about this.

Running out of things to say, so I shall just end it here. ALSO. Wikipedia, Y U GIVE ME DIFFERENT ANSWER FROM THE SOLUTIONS? Ugh of course i trust wikipedia more (IN WIKI WE TRUST) but --
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Had a really fun night yesterday! Met up with the #tvwhores (We're so cool, we even have a hashtag) in Khoo Teck Puat Hospital first to visit Sarah who has an ear infection from a piercing (les horreurs!). My first time meeting her, which was quite awesome since honestly every one of the #tvwhores are really fun and nice and warm and GENERALLY FUZZY WUZZY. Anyway, the hospital is really cool and new and so airy and all the fake clouds ~ AND THE YISHUN POND NEXT TO IT. So pretty and green and nature ohhh Jurong I hate you sometimes.

After that we cabbed down to Cuppage Plaza and turned out the place we're supposed to go to is at Cuppage Terrace! It's a really nice Mexican restaurant entirely run by Indians and the manager is sooooo nice and he recognized Adrienne so we have our two servings of nacho chips for freeeee but he didn't say that the guacamole dip was $5 and the sour cream was $3. oh well. ALSO THE BEST PART OF THIS PLACE IS ALL THE FREE FLOW OF MARGARITAS! Just drink only. Had mango, lime and strawberry margaritas, and my favourite was the strawberry one because it's really sweet but sour a little but that might be because of the residual lime margarita in my cup. AND THEY SERVED IT IN A BIG PITCHER oh my god this place is amazing.

photo taken by adrienne

I had kitchen sink burrito because tout est en espanol and I'm not sure what is what.

There's rice and chicken and meat and cheese and tomato and THINGS generally really nice things inside the burrito and the sauce = OM NOM NOM. THIS PLACE IS AMAZING. Seriously. their fajitas are soooo popular and smells so good and every time they serve it omg omg omg the smelllll even though it gets into my hair. definitely going to try it the next time I'm there. WE'LL BE THERE RIGHT? :D

also Viv passed me the shirts her friend got for me!


haha my lonelygirl91 shirt. LONELY OKAY. I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS ONLY WHAT.

and my TOMS from Rebecca:

Please ignore my French textbook behind. Veh nice right!! Too bad I have that one foot bigger than the other syndrome. Left foot fits exactly, right foot is loosey-goosey.

Love all these new purchases. my Amazon order is going to be très late and I can't be bothered to be angsty over it anymore. and just bought two Cevans-related merch on ebay hehehehehehe SO GORGEOUS.

okay, back to mugging/studying/torture/etc. Luckily I have these two as my company.

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And I think I shall use my Dreamwidth journal more often. I SWEAR. I SWEAR.
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